~EMO, thinking and doing nothing and everything

Doing nothing and everything is my daily routine. I always set up my GTalk status as "Busy" and if someone actually have the time to ask me, I will always answer with "I'm busy doing nothing".

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Yesterday, I saw the coolest Google Doodles ever!!

 

It's for the 332nd birthday of Antonio Vivaldi, the Italian composer. It's so very pretty, it makes me swoon ~.~

Next topic, today, I'm just sitting in front of the computer doing nothing (like it's actually new!) and everything (yeah, right!). I've been terrorizing my some-kind-of-a-new-forum, it's EMO, hehehe it's got a nice ring to it.

Doing nothing but commenting and really nothing! It's so liberating, I feel relax at the end of the journey.

Okay, the next topic is actually something that I think about two days ago. I wrote it in a note and though to post it, here it is:


~Someone says, "If you think of something hard enough, they eventually come true." but it is really true? I think it is so right and wrong at the same time. Just look at the denial thing, no matter how hard you deny something didn't exist or something didn't happen, it's already there and done, no way to undo it.



Denial is just like when you try to explain something abstract and try to relate the cause and the meaning. Maybe it would help you into understanding it but... maybe it would only confuse you more. "The possession of knowledge does not kill the sense of wonder and mystery. There is always more mystery." or so they say. Or maybe... it would made you convince yourself about another cause whatsoever.


This path of thinking is actually lead me to analyze my mind and my feelings. My fear of commitment and my uncertainty to start a relationship. Because however hard I try to deny my denial, I realize that I always shying around every time the topic is brought up. Maybe because commitment so much reminds me of responsibility, of being an adult, of be dependent to someone. It's hard, heavy, constricting and made me suffocate, I cannot breathe, I decide to just stop thinking about it.


So, what did I find out from this one-confusing-path-of-thinking? Nothing, yeah nothing and everything. It just made me try to be brave and admit I have a problem, but it doesn't actually give any idea on how and why I even try to solve it...~


Now for the end of the post, I'd like to recommend some of my daily reading material, which consist of a very high dose of Fanfiction and Manga :sweatdrop:

For Manga, I'd like you to read:

Flat by Natsu Aogiri

The story is about a self-centered-teen who meet a very self-conscious-child. Not very good at synopsis, am I? Just read the review by nightfox at here. And just like she says, little Aki is cute. Really really cute, you actually would not be thinking twice in committing a crime by kidnapping a child so obediently and sweet-mannerly just like him.

~fin
Okay, it's done. Actually done, this a-bit-longish-and-somehow-pointless post. Total time consumption: approx. 2 hours. A very high accomplishment, if I say so myself. Happy reading everybody...